The Obligatory Exploding Breast Implants of Death Post

There have been recent reports of breast and/or buttock implants being used by Al-Qaeda to conceal incendiary objects in the body so as to bypass our screening techniques. This is disturbing to say the least.  From Associated Content.com:

Terrorists with al Qaeda are creating ever more inventive ways to smuggle bombs onto planes, trains, and subways. Thus, federal authorities must keep up and find ways to identify when a terrorist is loaded with explosives and capture him or her before they set off the bomb.

I know that our NSA and CIA and HAS have this situation well in um hand, however, please let me be the first to volunteer for inspection duty. Or at least I'll volunteer my imaginary robot.

That is to say I will happily-er reluctantly don a robot suit and pretend to be afraid to fondle -er um inspect said breasts of questionable origins. I do solemnly swear there will be no caressing, undo squeezing or gratuitous massaging of said breasts, titties or boobs; nor will I gently cup with my hand any buttocks of unfortunate female terror suspects in any way that could be interpreted as a  profiling manner.

Please, I'm a professional here.

I would also like to offer a personal list of questionable breasts that should be examined immediately.

Pamela Anderson

Megan Fox

Halle Berry

Carmen Electra

That is all.

Oh yea, I almost forgot. This post might be considered by some (mainly Smitty and R.S. McCain of The Other McCain) to be a Rule 5 post. If so, so be it; although I would never willingly admit so using such crude methods of attracting traffic to my blog. Unless of course it worked.

Also,

In less inflated or perhaps more inflated news, Judicial Watch Announces it's List of Washington's "Ten Most Wanted Corrupt Politicians" for 2009. I wonder who's on it?

Read more...