Scientists Discover New Element - The Pelosi Particle

>> March 16, 2010

Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science Discovered

The Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has now identified with certainty the heaviest element known to science.
The new element, Pelosium (PL), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Pelosium is inert, and has no charge and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact...

That's some funny sh*t right there I don't care who you are.

Read the rest at Signal 94


Chris Wysocki March 16, 2010 at 1:50 PM  

I'm told that when it is combined with Botoxium, Pelosium becomes impermiable to the natural logic of the universe and operates outside the space-time continuum to impede all molecular activity.

The only known substance which can counteract Pelosium is Reaganite, a very rare mineral last seen in 2004. Scientists at the Large Hadron Collider are working feverishly to reconstitute a new supply of Reaganite before the combination of Pelosium and Botoxium coalesce into a giant black hole that could wipe out all intelligent life on Earth.

Linked at WyBlog.

Longhaired Conservative March 16, 2010 at 2:03 PM  

LOL! Great stuff.

Matt March 16, 2010 at 5:02 PM  

Chris got to the botox reference first. Well done sir.

Great find MN Robot. Thanks!

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